means and measures

Okay, in follow-up to my last post and the large and bizarre amounts of pain I was in, I’m doing nearly 100% better. Maybe 95%. Just as strangely as it came, it went away overnight on Saturday, leaving me a good five months, 27 days short of the legal definition of chronic pain (six months). I still have no clues what caused it or what fixed it — I just know it was very bad. I’m still a bit sore, probably just little aftershocks, but it’s soooo totally manageable. And I’m done with complaining.

I bought a few tetras the other day, and brought my goldfish bowls out of the closet. A few months ago, I put them up having felt great pangs of guilt over killing a couple dozen goldfish. I decided to buy the $2 per tetra, very very tiny, and I already had one die on me. Grief. I’m going back to the goldfish, I’ve vowed. They were just fifteen cents a peice, and I can handle the guilt.

On Saturday, Bryan and I went to a play at Nichols Theater called “Private Eyes.” It was a somewhat confusing play-within-a-play-within-a-play play, but eventually all came together at the end, when all the time-jumping and peices of information were revealed. I’d still liked to have seen it again to get a better grip on the meaning, though. The theme was basically about love and adultery. The line I enjoyed most, and a good thesis for the play was when the main character Matthew wonders about his love, his wife, and whether “the only way to surprise someone [that you’ve been in love with for so long] is to hurt them.” He explains that at the beginning of a relationship, little simple tiny things mean so much, can surprise and delight, but after a while, perhaps, the only way to surprise the one you’re in love with is to hurt them. Adultery?

On Sunday, I rented a couple movies from Blockbuster. Vanilla Sky, which I’ve been meaning to watch for a long long time, since people kept saying it’d be a movie I’d like. It was alright. For the most part, it was a movie I like. The whole thing got really sci-fi at the end — too sci-fi — and that generally turns me off. The more I think about it though, all the sci-fi aspects were grounded in reality and things that could, really really, happen. It’s not as far fetched as alien movies or AI or whatever, so I’m considering it. Overall, the movie was excellent — acting, directing, yeah.

The other movie I got was Igby Goes Down. This, usually, would have been one of those movies that I’d fall straight in love with, shooting straight to the top of my hyped OMG-I-LOVE-THIS-MOVIE movies. But it didn’t and really for one reason. It seemed a little late, a little passe on the whole New York City loft, blue color scheme, pill-popping, stainless steel trends. A year ago, I’d have loved this movie to death. Kieran Culkin was amazingly good in it; Ryan Phillippe again proves that he can only play one kind of character: an ultra-priveledged, straight-talking “Republican”. The other cast were amazing in repetoire: Susan Sarandon, Bill Pullman, Claire Danes, Jeff Goldblum, Amanda Peete, and little Rory Culkin. Basically I saw this as an affluent Catcher in the Rye, meets the excitingly messed-up family of the Royal Tenenbaums. I’d give this another shot, too.

I’m very busy with school work this week. Actually, I should clarify that. I should be very busy with school work, but instead, I’m stressed that I’m not. I need to make some major changes in my life. I need some motivation. I need some results. I have potential to get some amazing, great things done if I just had the ethic and lifestyle. I want to make a movie. Write a book. Build some muscles. Feel comfortable with my classes.

I’m not making any promises, but I’m gonna start small, and I’m going to start right now. I’ve got a list of four major assignments in three different classes due by the end of the week, and I’m gonna make a dent in them right now.

Now -> .



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